Looking back at myself, I must thank my friend Aiz (well, u know, linked is jus 1 of her several blogs) for constantly scolding me regarding my e-world and D for starting her blog which in a way reminded me of myself.
Its been a year of tough journey since I left home. A year ago, I wasted a lot of time, days, weeks, months, those 3 months,... but I was still being myself and worked on i-Bran.
Things aren't the same. Ever since Dec 15, 2009; ever since I saw Kathipara flyover from the top view while inside British Airways bound to LA; ... ever since I found it hard to understand...
While I was there in Chennai I found it hard to understand how the rules were so cruel. Now I find it hard to understand what the rules are.
Looking back, the pain, the agonies, and I was still smiling and laughing around. And for the past one year I have been busy finding that. With people not finding time to even bid a goodnight, you would only faint with shock at the changes that one is instilled with by his surroundings. How everything is so different now? No one has any time all of a sudden!
Its been getting over me badly and finally thanks to Neela Vaanam, I found some peace. All after tonight's harsh ignorance imposed upon me by....
What else would one have to face? All that I need is some way to bring back in me, what I had. A little of happiness to make people around me feel light. Hmm, I wish if I could...
Considering the force which makes me research about Time Machines, I wish things lasted a little longer.
Emotions are tough to understand, hard to create. Search for myself continues with this heart-touching song.
But you will feel the intensity only here from 4:00 (dont watch if you are not in a good shape)
People say to me 'life sucks'. They say this after getting so many goodies. Wish I could laugh at them some day...
Looking back at what I did to myself... deleting the huge database of frndzofall blog (4 year old), leaving the wordpress blog to rot, forgetting the Zephyr,... and with looking back so many times in this post, I feel sick.
As everyone will be hoping for a better new tomorrow, I hope I will find my long lost Hari in me, with all the lost connections with outer world! I still talk the same way, its jus that I dont get any response...
When you think of the care for that special friend...
when you are deeply hurt (for years together) and still THE friend doesn't even bother to hear you out...
when it is unable for you to even eat with the pains of hurt from morning till evening 5PM....
and at that time when THE friend sms me (from some fancy restaurant - The friend's friend's bday party) that THE friend tried vodka! with a ":D" smiley...
that's when pain turns sweet... they say as Bruce Willis said in Sixth Sense film... "It doesn't even hurt anymore..." when pain passes beyond the threshold of death...
when u beg cry askin for the reason, u get areply that they dont deserve u. What to do, even if someone else doesn't deserve, you ought to be punished. hmmm people change every single word they said and punish me.
-booki
note: food I ate now (breakfast) about 10mins ago...it pissed me off.
